i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
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Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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