Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
