I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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