With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
