dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
