You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she looked like the before picture.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
