dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
