How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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