i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
