somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i dont even know how to be here
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
