So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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