is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
