Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize