oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
