Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
