The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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