my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
