The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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