I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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