quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
