dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
