im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
