Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
