I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize