how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the day after is always just damage control
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
