I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize