I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
