my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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