we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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