Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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