So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
