Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
