hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
