dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
