Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
