Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
