scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
