We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
