Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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