sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Be still, my beating vagina.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
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