I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
