Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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