Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
