Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
