Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize