idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
