Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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