You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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