Im at strip club and am horny
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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