It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
