Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
