I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
