I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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