so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
