i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
