I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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