hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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