I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
