So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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