Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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